Downfall of Gaming Journalism #1: The Curious Case of IGN

Posted in Home Furnishings, Local journalism, Uncategorized on September 30th, 2019
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Welcome to the first entry in a series ofrants entitled ‘The Downfall of Gaming Journalism’, and as the title suggests, these will be dedicatedto the vanishing credibility of a vanishing industry: Video Game Journalism. When I firstfired the opening salvos in my 4-year crusade against the depraved and incestuous covenof self-interest that is modern gaming journalism all the way back in 2009, I was, in fact,one of the few voices in video reviewing who were even troubling themselves to expend theeffort. A bandwagon that I’ve noticed is looking a little topheavy in recent years. Maybe it’sthe major controversies in the last couple years that arrived in the form of Mass Effect3 or Dragon Age 2 that have since shed further light on the autofellatial business modelof contemporary online journalism, but the simple fact remains that many of the samevoices who gleefully turned a blind eye to these issues in ’09 when I, and a handfulof others, first began shedding light on this issue – I won’t name names, but they rhymewith ‘Blangry Joe’ and ‘Potsie’! – have since boarded said bandwagon and regularly addressthese themes in their own programs.And I’m fine with that. I don’t feel I wasripped off because I’m not the only commentator addressing these issues, and I’m far fromthe first. But I do feel these people often fail to properly articulate and identify thetrue reasons behind them, and perhaps much more importantly… to be perfectly willingto name names and cite specific events. Which brings us… to our first subject:Ah, IGN. IGN is a living, breathing contradiction.Ostensibly, and in the eyes of many gamers, they’re often depicted as the ‘evil empire’of gaming journalism, but I think their sheer size, at times, also affords them some artisticlicense to occasionally tell half the fuckin’ truth. Because their advertising coffers arefar from anemic, they can – though they rarely do – afford to occasionally stand on principle:On the one hand, they weren’t shy from calling Final Fantasy XIV the putrescent turd it trulywas despite the obese advertising campaign Square Enix paid for on their site. But thenthey turn around and give Ace Combat Assault Horizon – one of the absolute worst arcadeflight sims in existence and far and away the worst game in the Ace Combat series – anappalling 7.5 out of 10.Or they tender Dragon Age 2 a shiny 8.5 out of 10. 8.9 to FinalFantasy XIII. A near perfect 9 out of 10 for Star Wars: The Old Republic… with an accompanyingmonth filled with articles extolling the virtues of the thoroughly vanilla MMORPG… while- ‘coincidentally’ – animated Old Republic banner advertisements swirl and pulsate inthe margins of the fucking page. But it’s the former, rather than the latter,that has become a truly ethically-dubious trend in recent years. Now, not only is theIGN webpage virtually wallpapered with advertisements in every conceivable location on the site,IGN editorial is now evidently instructing their reporters to drop what they’re doingand write fucking fluff pieces about said games to serve as glorified advertisementsthemselves! Mass Effect 3, early last year, was a particularly egregious exemplar, notleast of which due to the fact that an IGN employee was actually cast as a characterin the fucking game! Every day – and I counted – for a solid fucking month prior and subsequentto the game’s release, there were no fewer than two and no more than four Mass Effect3-related stories, largely consisting of masturbatory miscellany revealing little to no substantitveinformation about the game aside from the prevailing and inescapable implicit message:GO OUT AND BUY THIS FUCKING GAME SO HELP ME CHRIST! And if the fluff pieces themselvesfailed to communicate the message, the margins of the page would circumnavigate that subliminalthreshold with aplomb.Games with comparatively meager advertisingbudgets, for example Silent Hill: Downpour, which only placed an animated banner ad onIGN’s front page for less than a week prior and subsequent to its launch – yet which wasreleased just one week after Mass Effect 3, not only received less than 1/5th as muchnews coverage… but despite, in many peoples’ opinions, including mine, being a step inthe right direction for the series… received a comically-low score of 4.5 out of 10 fromIGN. Indeed, scoring even lower than IGN’s equally-comical 5.5 out of 10 score affordedDuke Nukem Forever! Skeptical?This… is what the IGN front page looked like in March of 2012.I mean, this… is what the page that contained IGN’s ‘objective’ review of Mass Effect 3looked like. And it’s still happening!Perk an ear and turn your gaze to IGN’s thoroughly-unbiased coverage of the Playstation 4! A system withouta price point and without a launch date…That is nevertheless – in the eternally-obliviousIGN writer Keza MacDonald’s own words – ‘Going to dominate the world.’ In the weeks leadingup to the PS4 launch event, there were as many as 7 PS4-related stories on a singlepage. And that was before we even had a date for the event! For the third-place consoleon the market! Conversely, it was recently revealed thatMicrosoft will be holding their own event. How many stories were Microsoft-related?!4. Over the course of seven fucking pages!No bias there! When it comes to Sony, IGN has generated morespin than a ballerina with vertigo! And – as, I’m sure, a complete coincidence… therehave been a glut of animated PS4 advertisements on IGN for at least the past week.This is a fucking abhorrent conflict of interest. This… is the new face of gaming journalism.And THIS… is IGN in a fucking nutshell! I’m RazrFist.God – fucking – SPEED!

Game Critics

Posted in Home Furnishings, Local journalism, Uncategorized on August 19th, 2019
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Game CRITICIANS FUCKING SUCKS, OR now not SOME BOYS? [Critics who say yes and agree with it in other ways] You see? Even the feedback on youtube accept as true with me, And we know that the remark on youtube is the position for profound criticism, With the most wise spirits, similar to Middleschoolerconnor. But what makes this person distinctive from this? Good, this man will get paid to say silly shit the first challenge i have with gaming web sites is that their opinions are so decentralized If a couple of writers work for a website, that you may readily lose sight of who’s virtually speaking "consider free to breathe sonic fanatics, Sega has accomplished good here" "I think Sonic the Hedgehog 4 was once pretty negative" "Sonic is good once more?" "Sonic has certainly not been good" "With a few fun games" "Sonic was under no circumstances just right" "… The phases are excellent" "There are no excellent Sonic the Hedgehog video games" "right" "tremendous-particular backgrounds and great animations -" There are not any just right Sonic the Hedgehog video games "outstanding designed levels -" "Sonic is high-quality" "yet?" "sure." This year on my own, IGN has spoken to more than 37 critics when you see a video from ProJared, TotalBiscuit or AngryJoe, You instantly understand whose standpoint it is but should you select a overview from IGN, it can be like the fucking lottery it’s foremost to set up a bond between critic and viewer each review must be an extension of what the public expects how you react to video games You must also face your shortcomings as a critic For illustration, I don’t have any fucking patience. Throw an RPG my approach and i consider, nah that is means too boring but do you know what’s much more stupid than RPGs? Anime except it comes from this man, you should keep that shit far from me. But have you learnt what I hate much, rather more than anime? Turn-established fights. Relatively it makes me irritated There are only about two who figured it out and they do not depend flip-founded fights are fucking boring, tedious and tiring. The reverse of enjoyable. So once I say that Persona 5, a flip-centered anime RPG is pretty fun, you need to believe: "Fuck. Might be this sport is good" probably the stupidest, most normal comment I see is: "i stopped the video when he mentioned Bubsy sucks 3d" listen, hiya Your opinion does now not have got to have the same opinion about every game to believe it Of course The vigor of a critic is in the regularity of the voice but if you’re consistently wrong … "This is among the least entertaining platformers i’ve performed in a very long time" "it is a name of responsibility recreation" "…Refreshingly common" ""call of obligation-" that’s the second that you just come to be Armond White. (The legend of armond white) This guest is the best vinegar sugar. Each his mother and father have been white. His name is Armond White (white) Then he says "Fuck you" "i’m black." Rim Armond White the whole thing that’s excellent is dangerous and the whole lot that is unhealthy is excellent Does that make him a "vain" critic? On no account If Armond White tells you that Man of metal is the "Godfather" of superhero movies, And he calls it his movie of the yr, Then as a viewer you will have to realise ": "good enough, this is the worst movie ever made" Some movies even exceed Armond White. Then you could have a movie like Suicide Squad And it’s only a shit. If even this man who likes fucking online game films, If even HE does not love it. Then you know that you just rather did whatever fucking improper at the least it stands out like a rock So many critics sound the identical "You nearly suppose you’re Batman" "..Participant virtually feels Batman" "..Wouldn’t feel or appear like Batman anymore" "Made us suppose like" "… Feel like Batman …" IGN, what do you suppose? "Arkham Asylum makes you consider like you might be Batman" My reports are obviously now not best, but as a minimum I are attempting. Even after I add my stuff, i will be discovered in the feedback to additional the discussion Now let’s take a look at IGN’s overview of super Metroid In Metroid, you play as Metroid … A bounty hunter who shoots an alien dinosaur with a rocket 9.5 where did FUCKING store that? I will to find all that shit on the again of the field.However at least it will sound interesting there. The one content of this evaluation was once the last figure Which is most often held to a seven, eight or nine, implying that the game is excellent. Even a disaster like Mass effect Andromeda manages to get away with a seven I play quite a lot of video games and on my scale sucks most of this shit man. To be honest i might appear again on many previous years after which i’d best give you a number of decide upon video games that would nonetheless stand today.So if I supply a six I say good enough. This sport is of fine quality. That is anything valued at your time and it managed to hold me targeted unless the top I consider that many critics are too scared to precise a real opinion and i feel there are a lot of causes that affect this game media and even you tubers in this day and age have relationships and contacts with these organizations Which gives them interviews, early types and early game pics … That does not mean they are being paid off, however they will not criticize things as difficult as they will have to they are part of a circle and some of these websites are mostly funded by using commercials by sport developers which encourages very annoying developments "Mainstream" critics are so certain to play the today’s video games that their requisites are tied to what’s being completed recently after which you’ve gotten the pussy competitors for the first review on Metacritic in order that your internet site gets extra site visitors and the influence is a column with a terrible, vulnerable first impression. "The track is being made that method" "persons write a evaluation, uh … In a day" "First, you cannot take heed to and assessment an album on the same day" it’s simply not possible The great experiences are utterly subective however that does not mean that info have got to be thrown out of the window. You need to make your case firm with honest claims that no-sayers can agree with lately, Gamespot gave Crash Bandicoot’s new remaster a six. One purpose used to be unexpected alterations within the degree of situation but if Gamespot you understand that they aren’t relatively nice in platformers "New tremendous Mario Brothers Wii is a complicated game. Historic-school complex" Huh? "it’s going to scan the platformer veterans below us" "New tremendous Mario Brothers Wii is via some distance essentially the most tricky recreation" "The problem level can scare gamers off at first sight" but why is my opinion more correct than that of this man? Good, initially I played the fucking recreation! This guy came midway by way of the game and released his overview? What the fuck? It can be humorous since I suppose he is certainly correct Crash Bandicoot has a difficult handling and digital camera however it’s absolutely viable to do it unless you attain this mom-fucking turtle level. Who is dependable for this monster? This must be some of the worst stages i’ve ever encountered in a recreation. "This sport can think very ancient" "Depth operation is a main issue" "tricky to send" "The ‘physics’ do not at all times work" Dunkey: Piece is said to be turtle "touch detection can be a bit strange" "no longer as specific appropriately" When Reggie Mario developed 64 He learned that special jumps in 3D didn’t go flawed Naughty canine then again concept "fuck that shit" "Jochie, soar over that cunt turtle, but it surely will not allow you to jump a long way adequate so you do not get over the cunt bridge." there may be without doubt a steeper finding out curve than ordinary and in my opinion the sequence has been mainly graphically wonderful Crash that looks on the boulder that haunts him, a gorgeous shimmering water fall, an historical temple in the moonlight … In the event you lose, Crash doesn’t simply disappear. He gets burned fucking. He’s crushed fucking by a giant rock and completely destroyed Pig throws him off and he breaks his backbone BOEM! And changes into a pancake Falls in the water and freezes to dying he’s fucking killed in this game, man whilst you ultimately reach that insane stage, Crash’s face speaks volumes It just says * observe * best job1 but you could have one, two, Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, 9, ten, eleven … 21! 22! 23! 24! Fifty seven! Fifty eight! 59! 60! Sixty one- 94, ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven, 98. But aside from that, well executed The presentation is best and the critics have surely noticed that but what is more predominant for a sport like this, the way it feels or what it appears like? Which brings me to my ultimate factor: focus Do you keep in mind when this video was once about recreation critics? That used to be considering the fact that I lost focal point pressing. Surroundings. Variant and replayability that is what I find priceless in a recreation When the tune sucks …. If the extent has no proposal and regularly comes to a discontinue, then the sport just isn’t fun "If it can be not fun, why waste your time on it?" I see various reports the place the text does not fit the conclusion. "the brand new super Mario Brothers series in general seems like a drained try to be ‘casual’ "it is this type of disgrace that it does no longer make highest use of the picture or musical capacities" "just a little of a shame. Spirit-killing, typical, jolly song" "enjoying with friends remains to be a chaotic mess." "When Mario U goes to do intriguing matters, it is over" Fuck, he need to hate this very so much What the fuck? "It has something for all people" .